how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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