Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
