there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
