This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
