well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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