this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Alive.
So much puke
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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