Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
