it was like eating out sand paper
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
