So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
