you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
