mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
