i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
