she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
