Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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