Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
