WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
