She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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