You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
