How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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