That's intense
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
