i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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