Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
