until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My dick has a subreddit
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
