Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
that's an acceptable place to lick
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize