Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
