So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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