2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize