how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
