omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
