I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
why is half of my head shaved?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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