I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
