11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
