her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
