I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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