Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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