Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
