I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to make out with him forever
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
