My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Randomize
