My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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