Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
They have beer where we have blood.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
