She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize