I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Randomize