i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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