that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
