i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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