she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize