I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
