Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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