3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
