i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
