Don't you send me to vm
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
