Are we in a gay sports bar?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
