I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
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Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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