Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
