i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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