Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize