break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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