Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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